Speak Out: Advocacy in Action

Speak out for those who cannot speak, for the rights of all the destitute.  Speak out, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy./Proverbs 31:8-9

I preached a sermon a few years back.  It was for the Sunday I returned from General Assembly.  On one of the last evenings, I had it completed.  I felt good. Then my computer crashed. Three days until Sunday and I had nothing.  At the time, I was livid.  I had worked hard on that sermon! Then I encountered our last worship service.  We were commissioning the new Field Personnel and chaplains; sending them out in the world to live boldly and live out their call.  I ended up writing a completely different sermon, titled Don’t Miss the Moment.  It was a sermon that showed my pride for CBF and the people that aren’t missing the moment.  They understand that life is urgent.  They are living boldly—a challenge to all of Jesus’ followers.

This past semester was one for the books.  On top of taking classes that were clearly evolving the way I minister, I had the opportunity to travel to two amazing places.  The first was El Paso, Texas/Juarez, Mexico with the Baptist Peace Fellowship of North America.  I was able to learn about immigration and the policies that are in place at the border.  You can learn more about my experience here, or you can join us at Peace Camp in a few short weeks! A few weeks after my trip to the border, I was able to take what I learned about immigration and our broken system to Advocacy in Action.  There I learned how to use my voice and the resources that were around.  I learned the importance of a Christian's role in advocacy, what the Bible says about it, and why it's a part of our calling. Then I got to use my voice and be a part of something awesome during Lobby Day.  I’m grateful.  Being a part of an organization that creates and executes events like Advocacy in Action makes me ecstatic to be young clergy of CBF.

This was my second time experiencing Advocacy in Action.  I hope to make it a tradition- to see how it grows and flourishes into something really beautiful.  I was just as excited this time around- especially since I was going to hear from Sue and Greg Smith, Field Personnel working with LUCHA ministries.  They work with immigrants every day, and I was excited to process my border trip with them.  Our group spent the first afternoon in conversation about immigration and payday lending.  We talked about why Christians are called to be a voice for the voiceless, why we are called to love one another, to be their advocate, to speak out.  During the week, we also met with Melissa Rogers- Special Assistant to the President and Executive Director of the White House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships at the White House Eisenhower Executive Office building.  It was an honor to learn from her and the different ways that she is using her skills to help our nation’s leaders.

We met with the staff from Bread for the World, Baptist Joint Committee, and the New Baptist Covenant.  We learned their stories and how they're a part of the big things happening on Capitol Hill and in the DC area.  Kasey Jones, Moderator of CBF, spoke to us as the Pastor of National Baptist Memorial Church.  The congregation she leads plays a large role in the Columbia Heights neighborhood.  They provide those in need with their hunger ministry and clothes closet.  In the summer, they host a camp for kids. 

  

All of these opportunities helped us form together a new community, a community of action.  We culminated our time together on the Hill.  I, along with several other VA residents,spoke with the staff of our representatives.  We spoke to them about the good work of Bread for the World.  We spoke about the upcoming bills about child nutrition, as well as the brokenness we feel as predatory lending traps those in need of a way out of debt.  Our voices were heard.  We listened, we prayed, and we talked.  We didn’t miss the moment.  We acted boldly.

Since returning from Washington, DC, I’ve been able to act boldly in response to my experiences.  I was present for a payday lending conference.  We listened to stories about the horror behind what these debt traps can do to people in a financial crises.  I met with David Bailey of David Bailey Associates.  It’s a “full-service public relations, government affairs, and lobbying firm located immediately adjacent to the state capitol in Richmond.” (www.dbava.com) We talked about the day-to-day activities of his office and how he influences state legislators. I traveled back to Washington, DC to be a part of the Hunger Justice Leaders program at Bread for the World. I learned the different resources and what it means to be passionate about hunger in our country and our world.

Thanks be to God for organizations like CBF, who are passionate about being the light of Christ to others in need.  Thanks be to God for CBF and for the people involved that understand that life is urgent and who live boldly and speak out. 

Chosen..

John 15: 9-17


As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.

At least for me, these last two weeks of sermons have included affirmation and encouragement about being loved, abiding in God’s love, and promises of security if you obey God’s commandments.

We’re constantly given the task to understand and appreciate that we are indeed chosen. Sometimes that's so hard. It's hard to constantly hear "be loved, beloved"/"Bask in the greatness of God’s love"/ "you’re loved"! Sometimes it sounds like bologna to me. Actually most of the time, it sounds like bologna. In the midst of poverty and violence, of ISIS and Nepal, Baltimore, and the senselessness that occurs today, maybe it’s good to have the affirmation and encouragement- a sense of unconditional love.

Last week‘s New Testament passage was in this same chapter- Jesus says that He is the true vine, God is the Vineyard keeper. You think about the kind of soil you are that allows roots to be put down; healthy soil allows roots to take hold, to grow, to flourish. You think about the branches that God sees us as. God sees us as branches that hold things up, branches that produce fruit. We are chosen to be branches. We are chosen to put down roots- to produce fruit.

Let that soak in- God chooses us. Every single day.

I've been reading through My Life with the Saints by James Martin (Thanks, Colleen!). He writes about all the “saints” he had some sort of connection with. Mother Theresa is one of them. He once wrote her and asked if she would be interested in writing to him about how one would find God. She replies:

God love you for your beautiful effort to lead people nearer to His truth and love. I will certainly keep this project in my prayers, that Jesus may use this book for the glory of God and the good of His people. I regret to inform you, however, that I will be unable to contribute to the book as you requested. Keep the joy of loving Jesus in your heart and share this joy with all you meet. Let us pray.

The fruit of SILENCE is Prayer

The fruit of PRAYER is Faith

The fruit of LOVE is Service

The fruit of SERVICE is Peace 

The fruit of FAITH is Love

I think that’s exactly what we need to hear. God chooses us for silence (prayer). God chooses us for prayer (faith). Faith (love). Love (service). Service (peace).

If we are quiet long enough, we hear what God is calling us to do. For those of us who can’t seem to shut our mouths long enough to listen to others, or to listen to what’s going on in our heads, may we turn to prayer. May we remember God’s choosing of us and how we can be silent. A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to perform my first funeral. It was humbling, it was overwhelming at times. As Mandy and I were heading to the funeral home for the visitation, I asked her for some pointers. She said "Be silent. The quieter you are, the more opportunity someone else has the opportunity to talk about what an impact has made on everyone in this room.  Listen fully.  And, the less you talk, the higher chance you have of not saying anything stupid."  We are chosen to be silent so that we may listen to others- to really listen to others.

We are chosen for silence. We are chosen to be silent and pray instead. In Anne Lamott’s book Help, Thanks, Wow, she talks about the three essential prayers- Help, thanks, and wow. In 2012, as the book was just published, she did an interview with NPR. As they talked about the first prayer, Help, she said,

“Well, I've heard people say that God is the gift of desperation, and there's a lot to be said for having really reached a bottom where you've run out of anymore good ideas, or plans for everybody else's behavior; or how to save and fix and rescue; or just get out of a huge mess, possibly of your own creation.” Those are the moments “where you may take a long, quavering breath and say, 'Help.' People say 'help' without actually believing anything hears that. But it is the great prayer, and it is the hardest prayer, because you have to admit defeat — you have to surrender, which is the hardest thing any of us do, ever."

May we be able to pray for help, as hard as it is, to surrender our thoughts and give them to God. May we remember that God chooses us to pray- help, thanks, wow.

Thanks, Lamott’s full prayer for this is “Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you”. This provides a sense of relief and grateful heart for what has just happened. A test you didn’t study for but still managed to pass. For some, it’s a little more serious- test results coming back more positive than you expected, the long-awaited news that you’re about to be a parent, or a grandparent, an aunt or uncle. A prayer of thanks. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Lastly, Lamott’s prayer of WOW. She says, 

"Wow is the praise prayer. The prayer where we're finally speechless — which in my case is saying something. ... When I don't know what else to do I go outside, and I see the sky and the trees and a bird flies by, and my mouth drops open again with wonder at the just sheer beauty of creation. And I say, 'Wow.' ... You say it when you see the fjords for the first time at dawn, or you say it when you first see the new baby, and you say, 'Wow. This is great.' Wow is the prayer of wonder."

We are chosen for prayer. We are chosen to pray and produce faith.

God chooses us for faith; faith that produces love. In the moments that we pray, and we’re not sure who we’re praying to or if we’re even being listened to. In the moments when we feel as if God has replied with “no” or even worse, with nothing at all- may we remember that God chooses us for faith. It’s okay to have doubts. The more we doubt, the more we understand faith; the more we understand God’s glory and grace for all of God’s creation. Faith in God when everything else fails. When every one else fails you- faith in the midst of doubt…that’s what God chooses for us.

God chooses us for love; love that produces service. This is a tough one sometimes. To love someone. To love ourselves.

“This is my commandment: love each other just as I have loved you. No one has greater love than to give up one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13)  When they love, they realize the service they’re doing for themselves..and to that person. May you take on the task of loving yourself and loving others the way that God commands. God’s unconditional love for us is a lot like the love of a parent. A parent’s love is full of grace and mercy- it’s full of love that produces service. May we have the opportunity to have parents like that- and to be parents like that. May we pray for those who don’t have that opportunity to have physical parents..but to feel the unconditional love that God has for them.

God chooses us for service; service that produces peace. Peace that passes all understanding. How do we serve? How can we serve? Fernwood, you are about to be granted an opportunity to serve alongside your very first female Senior Pastor. I don’t know about you, but that makes me giddy. You raised me and affirmed in my call to ministry. Without you, I wouldn’t be where I am. Remember that as you meet Bailey next week and vote to give her the opportunity to serve at this church ..for you to serve alongside her and her family..for you to find new ways that y’all can serve together. This is a blessing. This is hard work and dedication of your search committee to find the right person to serve here in this community…as a representative of Fernwood…as a representative of Christ. Be proud. Be excited. Serve and be served. Allow someone qualified..allow someone excited to work with you! To serve alongside you. God chooses us to serve- God may be choosing Bailey to serve here.. this service that furthers the kingdom of God, that produces fruit.

In the moments where we are never sure how to shut our mouths and listen, may God meet us there and remind us that we’re chosen. In the moments where we’re doubting..where faith is nowhere to be found, may God meet us there and remind us that we’re chosen. In the moments where it seems impossible to love (ourselves or each other), may God meet us there and remind us that we’re chosen. In the moments that we find it difficult to serve..or to be served- may God meet us there and remind us that we’re chosen.

What's for Dinner?

((My sermon for Ginter Park Baptist Church- April 19, 2015))

Text: Luke 24: 36b-48

I come from a family of thinkers.  We think ahead..to every meal.  While finishing up one meal, we’ll talk about what’s next.  Even now, when I travel to see my parents in SC, we base our visits off of meals. Don’t you do that, too? Lunch meetings with co-workers? Dinner with family? Saturday Brunch with friends?  We base most things in our life off of meals- looks like Jesus was no different.  He does the walk to Emmaus with this crew; the big surprise coming when they realize it is, indeed, the risen Jesus Christ.  Their terror is turned into joy after Jesus shows them his hands and feet.  He shows them His wounds and sufferings. Then he asks the big question, “What’s for dinner?” What do you have to eat?  What can you feed me that will fill me up? I. AM. HUNGRY.  What can we share together?

I also come from a family where we shared almost every dinner together.  Growing up, Wednesdays were at church.  Fridays were out. But other than that, we ate at our kitchen table.  We took turns setting the table, (which also usually meant taking all the mess that was on the table and throwing it on the stairs), cleaning up, loading the dishwasher, and taking out the trash.  It was routine.  It was comfort. It was a place that every night, I could come to the table…just as I am. Except for washing my hands, those at the table accepted me for exactly how I was approaching.  Every night I ate dinner with my family, I ate dinner with Christ.  We broke bread, we laughed, and we shared community together.  Sometimes community is good at that- inviting people to share a meal with them.  Especially the good Baptists that we are. There's a big holiday coming up? You can expect a potluck of good comfort food..something there for every one.   Inviting people to the table just as they are.  A community that comes together to feed Christ usually ends up getting fed, too.     

I wonder if they were confused when Jesus asked for something to eat.  Did they only have fish lying around? I wonder if they thought “oh gosh. We have fish left. That’s it? I knew we should have gone to the store!” But instead, they offer Jesus what they have.  Whether they’re embarrassed or not, they offer Jesus broiled fish.  Jesus is grateful for their offer.  “He took it and ate it in their presence.”  Jesus was grateful for the act of giving everything they had. 

After Jesus is filled, he invites others to remember their call.  Jesus reminds them of two fundamental truths from the Scriptures.  The first is that the Messiah was always meant to die and be raised.  The second is that now that they’ve witnessed the risen Christ, they’re called to “pay it forward.” They’re called to remember who they are, to remember whose they are; and to go out and tell it to the nations. 

Jesus doing what Jesus does and being who Jesus is, this meal obviously isn’t just about physical food…only being the act of eating broiled fish.  Jesus isn’t just hungry hungry. He’s hungry for relationship.  Jesus is hungry to share a meal and celebrate life.  He’s hungry to gather with friends.  He’s hungry for a new community of faithful, courageous living.  He’s hungry for this community to break bread together and share meals with strangers..again and again until strangers are no longer strangers.  He’s hungry to do these things with us- people who are striving to follow him. 

Celebrating communion is something that has become vey important to me.  It’s a time of remembrance and celebration.  It’s when things and relationships are right and good with you.  It’s a time where you find peace and joy- it’s a place that you can come to just as you are.  While reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer in my Theology class, “The Scriptures speak of three kinds of table fellowship that Jesus keeps with his own; daily fellowship at the table, the table fellowship of the Lord’s Supper, and the final table fellowship in the Kingdom of God. But in all three the one thing that counts is that ‘their eyes were opened, and they knew him’ Each time we celebrate the Lord’s Supper- or any kind of supper or meal, our eyes are opened- and we’re seeing things in a new way from a new perspective.  We are inviting Christ to table. We’re feeding Him with our time of remembrance, with our celebration of community, with our love for one another.

But when we invite others to the table. When we invite Christ to the table… The table fellowship that Bonheoffer speaks about implies obligation.  It is our daily bread that we eat, not my own.  We share our bread.  We share each other’s loads and bear one another’s burdens.  As we break this bread of life together, we remember our calling.  This church, Ginter Park Baptist church, is beautiful.  It’s a place where the Lord’s Supper is personal, where Mandy can bless you individually- saying (name) “this is the body of Christ shared with you” while pouring the cup of the new covenant.”

This is also a place where table fellowship comes often.  Where you walk down the hall on Wednesday nights and as you’re walking past the elevator, you  stop and listen. You think there’s a full room of people eating and laughing- where there’s only about 20, there’s so much joy and love in that fellowship room.  This is a place where you come together to rally for Laurie Payne and her family as chemo is no longer an option- as you wrap your arms around her husband and children, as you pray for peace.  This is a place where bags are packed for hungry children so that they may be fed over the weekend- where our hearts and souls are together in the name of Christ- where arms are open and love is free.  It’s a place where our eyes are opened and we recognize Christ. This is a place where Jesus is fed.  We should be grateful to be a community like this. 

Where we desire to feed Jesus, to satisfy His hunger for freedom, peace, and justice, I think Jesus wants us to come to the table hungry, too.  He wants us to come with questions and doubt. A doubt that leads to a stronger faith.  He wants us to learn how to be hungry, may His hunger for freedom, peace, and justice wear off on us until we’re hungry for the same things.  May we recognize our call to the table- a table that is set for community and love; where every one may be fed.   

While I was in Texas back in February on this border awareness experience, the most important aspect of the community that they have- is sharing meals together.  After the cooks of the group (who usually end up being the older women/grandmas and the aunts) lay out the spread for us to serve ourselves…usually involving fried tortillas with guacamole and chicken and rice and beans- we served ourselves and sat down. Me, not knowing any Spanish- I typically just sat and listened.  The strangers eating together- most every one else talking in Spanish to one another- learning their stories, building connections. I listened to the laughter and joy coming from this room and around this table.  All of them –children of God..feeding one another in community, ultimately feeding Christ.  Sharing meals together are beautiful things.

Jesus came to them hungry.  He took something ordinary, like “what’s for dinner?” and makes it extraordinary- “What is there for me to eat?” What can you feed me that will fill me up?

Friends, Jesus is hungry.  What are we prepared to offer him? What are we willing to give? What do we do to satisfy that? Where Jesus is hungry- we also come hungry…we come tired and hopeless. We come with heavy burdens and broken hearts.  We come needing to be filled by the love of Christ- the love of one another. Come to the table. It’s set for you. Just as you are.

       

Lent 3.

This past week was an interesting one...I guess I skipped Sunday and Monday.  Lent fail.

Tuesday evening was spent working on a Theology assignment due the next day.  The weather was cold and the fire was nice.  

At about 5am Wednesday, I woke up with an incredibly upset stomach.  I thought it was because my dinner (pizza) included so much dairy.  I went to class any way (good two shoes, not a class misser at your service!).  Forty five minutes in class.  Thirty of those spent....not in the classroom. Ended up going home...I fell asleep and woke up with a 100.8 fever.  Over the day, the fever rose.  I slept and drank gatorade.  Stella took it as a rest day for him, too.  #Lazycat 

\This was my only picture for a few days...not a lot happened\

Saturday- I ran my four miles (my fever had broken Wednesday over night) and treated the birthday girl, Abby to Can Can brunch.  The most amazing eggs and ham.  It's going to be a regular, for sure.

Sunday- we had Preview Days.  It was that day two years ago that I visited BTSR for Preview Days and completely fell in love *cue Elf; I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!* Thanks be to God for being affirmed exactly where you go.  

Who Did You Say Goodbye to Last?

 

As we gathered in the basement of Casa Vides to introduce ourselves, we were asked the questions. Tell us who you are? where you're coming from? Who did you say goodbye to last when you were leaving?
  

Over the course of the week, we became like family.  We suffered through different experiences together.  We traveled to the fence that divides God's children.  We looked into Mexico and spoke with children on the other side as Border Patrol watched our every move.  Those kids helped us say goodbye to our old selves, and say hello to a life-changing experience.

We ventured to Juarez together and learned that Christina Estrada doesn't own just a library.  It's a safe space for over 100 children to gather after school.  They are tutored by high schoolers/role models.  They're taught how to read, they're fed, and allowed to clean up.  She's an inspiration.  She has no interest in finding a new life in America.  She's proud to be in Mexico and proud to stay in Mexico.  She wants Mexicans to stay...and help the change from within.  Christina's job isn't easy.  She's worked hard and she's lost a lot.  The biggest problems in her work: working with kids who don't know how to read, working with parents who think it's more important to make money than to study.. Christina is their number one advocate.  She goes to school with them- asking what they need (new shoes, school supplied), what they need to work on, etc.  Christina doesn't claim to be a teacher.  But she is .. and so much more.  She's their social worker, mother, friend.  Christina is a one-of-a-kind lady.  Christina helped us to say goodbye to our old selves, and say hello to hope for that culture.


We met with Father Peter and Sister Betty.  They have immersed themselves into the Juarez community, helping when asked and loving others for exactly who they are.  We saw names and names of lives that have been lost over the years.  An excerpt from my notebook:
"And as I'm sitting in the Casa Tabor's courtyard..listening to the chatter and intentionality of this community, it's inspiring.  There are different groups of people..speaking snapshot one another, asking questions..wanting to know more about the names on the wall.  It's a wall of victims- journalists, matriarchal or patriarchal figures, those who died trying to cross the border- I give thanks for Peter and Betty.  I give thanks that there are people here who had no intention to change people when they moved here.  They only wanted to live among the people.  They would help when asked .. but they had no desire to change anything or any one"  These two helped us say goodbye to our old selves, and say hello to continuously putting others' needs before our own.

We met with Luis who works with a shelter in El Paso for Unaccompanied Alien Children (UAC, humanizing name isn't it).  He shared with us experiences and statistics.  We talked about the children who either come across the border voluntarily or by their parents.  They're typically fleeing from violence.  They're running away from gangs (either they were in a gang and want out, or the gang threatens if they don't join...double edged sword) and the danger.  The children (when they come alone) go through the Office of Refugee and Resettlement (not Homeland Security) and are put in Foster Care if there's no support already established in America.  What a blessing it was to listen to Luis, his experience and advice.  It motivates me to look in the RVA area for shelters for UAC.  Luis helped us say goodbye to our old selves, and say hello to continuous prayer for children facing this journey alone.    

We met with the court system (the hardest thing I've done to date).  We watched sentences and arraignments for people who have crossed the border illegally.  They've done nothing wrong, but yet they shuffle in the courtroom in shackles and blue jumpsuits.  The judge doesn't see the shackles any more.  He doesn't notice the blue jumpsuits or the despair and hopeless look on the faces. He just dismisses the cases with time served, and sends them on their way back to Mexico.  I pray for all who face a judge..that they be charged not with deportation, but with a chance to succeed.  This broken system helps us say goodbye to our old selves, and say hello to the responsibility to speak up about injustices in our world.

We met with Lorena.  From the beginning, women have been paid less than men.  And hispanic women have been paid less than white women.  So they fought.   And they protested.  As they slaved away in the garment factory, they would take what they made, and hold them hostage until they were paid.  They handcuffed themselves to sewing machines.  They organized a union.  They've fought so hard and they've still got a ways to go..but for those moments, we rejoiced in how far they had come. She was inspiring and empowering.  I respect her and those women's desire to stick to tradition and not conform.  Lorena helped us say goodbye to our old selves, and say hello to empowerment and the excitement to cheer on people as they change the world around them.




We met with Ruben Garcia, the Director of the Annunciation House.  He's the kind of guy that stays awake at night asking himself, how do i explain my right to occupy space on this planet? He taught us that it's okay to be unsettled by truth.  We are constantly given the invitation to be an incredibly human being.  Lives are gifts.  You really begin to understand that when you're at the border.  You're faced with the reality of injustices. What are you going to do about it? Ruben helped us say goodbye to our old selves, and say hello to being unsettled by truth.

The people we said goodbye to. The community we left behind. Returning with a hurt heart, 

and not knowing how to respond.  

Who did you say goodbye to last before being completely changed?

The Wilderness...

Last week, as part of the Martha Stearns Marshall month of preaching, I was asked to preach at Crozet Baptist Church in honor of my dear friend Colleen.  It was her final Sunday as Co-Pastor as she moves on to a small church in Charlottesville.  Unfortunately, it snowed about 6 inches on Saturday. I was already on Colleen's farm..but church ended up being cancelled.  

The following is my manuscript from this sermon.  

The Wilderness

Mark 1:9-15

In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. And just as he was coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens torn apart and the Spirit descending like a dove on him. And a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son, the Beloved;with you I am well pleased.”  And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. He was in the wilderness forty days, tempted by Satan; and he was with the wild beasts; and the angels waited on him.  Now after John was arrested, Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God, and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.” 

Where do you go to find yourself? When you’ve feel you’ve lost everything about who you are as a person, as a student, as a husband or wife, mother or father… where do you go to get YOU back? Where do you find peace? Is it sitting at the kitchen table sharing a meal with your family? Is it fishing on the lake on an early morning when you’re the first to touch the water? Is it hiking in these beautiful mountains that surround us? We see Jesus in the wilderness a lot.  I think that’s where he went to find himself.  It’s where he was tempted by reality, but it’s where he went to re-discover his mission and to listen to what God was calling him to do. 

There aren’t a lot of places where I find peace.  Being a total type-A, and admittedly, a high-maintenance person (well, I call it passion..other people call it high-maintenance), I get too caught up and too stressed about the tiniest things.  So typically wherever I go, I’m thinking about what I‘m leaving behind..or what I’ll be returning to.  I take the baggage of life with me.  I’ve never been too good about being present in the present.  But there’s one place.  It happens to me the moment I see any sign for the Blue Ridge Parkway.  Growing up in the upstate area of SC, we were only about an hour from the NC border.  We would spend weekends in Asheville (my parents are still there almost every weekend).  We would meet the grandparents for a picnic near Pisgah, and then find new roads on the parkway, new mountains to climb, and new trails to hike. 

A few years ago, I had accepted my first full-time position out of college.  I was the program coordinator at a group home for teenage mothers and their kids who are in foster care.  We were under-staffed so there were days that I would leave my house in the dark, return in the dark..only to go to sleep and do it all over again the next day.  The group home was on the back lot of a camp.  The camp was on a beautiful lake, about an hour from Charleston.  It wasn’t two months before I decided I needed to be near the mountains.  I needed to breathe in the fresh air, remember who I was, and remember whose I was.  I was hating this adult-life that reality had thrown in my face.  So I left.  I went home for the weekend.  I walked in the door, put my stuff down, hugged my parents, and we jumped back in the car.  We drove to Asheville.  I saw the mountain range, and I immediately felt at home.  I took a big sigh of relief.  The wilderness was calling.  It’s away from the city that I find myself.  It’s where this ADHD girl can have silence- and listen to what God is calling me to do.  After Jesus is baptized and about to begin this beautiful ministry, he takes forty days to reflect.  He listens to what God’s calling him to do- in the middle of the reality that’s being thrown in his face.

Something that I find interesting in this passage is that   “the spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness.” Jesus didn’t voluntarily spend 40 days alone.  He didn’t ask for it.  He was forced.  He was driven into the unknown, into the darkness.  This is where we see the humanity of Jesus.  We see temptation and how Jesus may have felt lost or confused.  This is where we see the opposing view of the wilderness.  You’re feeling lost and abandoned.  You don’t know who’s around to help or guide you- you don’t know how to read a compass or the moss on a tree trunk to try and get out.   You look at the sun to try and determine what time it is.  You don’t know where you are, or how to get out. All you know is that you ended up here alone.

Maybe that’s how you feel right now- lost and confused.  Maybe you’ve been forced in the darkness.  You didn’t ask to go to the wilderness. You were okay with the way things were going.  Life was comfortable.  And then all of a sudden, you’re driven into the wilderness.  You’re forced to face things you didn’t really want to face yet.

            I think what we need to learn is that the wilderness, the darkness, is okay. It’s necessary.  It allows you to appreciate the light when it comes. My church in Richmond is reading Barbara Brown Taylor’s Learning to Walk in the Dark during this Lenten season.  As I was reading through it- it’s clear how comfortable BBT feels in the dark.  On her farm in Georgia, Taylor invites a friend’s daughter to come spend time with her.  Taylor needs to move her chickens (and its easiest to do this at night when the chickens are sleepy), so she invites Anna along.  It’s pitch black and they’re walking down to the chicken coop- Anna’s complaining the whole walk. It’s dark.  It’s   Taylor keeps telling her “be patient.  Your eyes will get used to it.” Taylor gets to the coop and realizes that Anna is nowhere to be seen…except walking back into the house, back into the light.  Taylor says, “it was not her fault, it was mine, for forgetting that she was a city girl and that walking in the dark takes some practice.  But it was also the fault of everyone who taught her to fear the dark, convincing her that it is dangerous- all of it, all the time, under every circumstance- that what she cannot see will almost certainly hurt her and that the best way to protect herself from such unseen maleficence is to stay inside after dark with the doors locked and sleep with the lights on” (page 35).  We’re taught that the darkness is bad.  It’s time to come inside when the streetlights come on.  It’s dangerous! We get hurt.  What Taylor teaches us is that walking in the dark takes practice.  Walking in the dark is good for the soul! Finding the wilderness and immersing yourself into it is exactly what Jesus (kinda) did. It’s what we need to do.  It’s about courage.  Taylor asks, “How do we develop the courage to walk in the dark if we are never asked to practice”? (37) If we never set out into the wilderness, how do we ever find the light? How do we ever listen to what God’s calling us to do?

            Yesterday morning at breakfast, I was sitting with Max and Colleen and Paul.  Max, the kid who hated getting dirty, didn’t know how to eat his Heuvos Rancheros without getting his hands dirty.   As a kid, he hated getting his feet dirty- he’s grown since then…but, being the mom that Colleen is- she used to pull him through the pudles.  She drove him out of his comfort zone, through the puddles of water.  Not that I’m connecting God to Colleen- but at what point do we get out of our comfort zone? At what point do we allow the spirit to drive us into the wilderness, to have reality thrown in our face? At one point do we allow God to pull us through the puddles..into the light?     

So, now what?  Maybe this becomes a Lenten practice for you.  This is where we get our 40 days of Lent after all. Maybe finding yourself in the wilderness is exactly what you need.  When you find yourself in the wilderness, God will meet you there.  When you are thrown into the wilderness, God will meet you there.  When reality slaps you in the face, causing you to deal with things you didn’t want to deal with quite yet, God will meet you there.  When you find the courage to practice walking in the dark, God will meet you there. May we all learn to walk in the dark. May it be so. Amen.

Lent 2.

Monday- I used to take piano lessons (for about ten years). I kick myself a lot for not keeping up with it like I should.  Playing the piano (especially when it's tuned) brings peace to my soul.  Whether it's a hymn, or the only song I memorized from my lessons (Rondo Alla Turca..be impressed), when my fingers gently press on each key, I feel at home. 

Tuesday- quite the scare.  When you're impatient and close down your computer finished updating its OS, sometimes Word doesn't like to work.  Stress really hit when I desperately needed Word to finish (ahem. start) an exam due Thursday. No worries, guys. I fixed it.  I just had to finish updating Yosemite (all done during the Bachelor, of course) and then update Word. #appleshouldhireme

There are lots of reasons why I love BTSR.  Hilarious professors who banter with you is in my top five.  

Thursday- Snow Day #2! We got another 5 or so inches Wednesday night into Thursday morning.  Classes were cancelled.  The roads were okay so my roommates left me with the house to myself.  I caught up on all my shows, Stella and I took lots of naps, and I watched two new Netflix movies (yes- Chef; no- White Bird in a Blizzard).

Friday- this is a flashback (also, this is the only picture I took on Friday).  Stella was a BABY (and I think still a girl at this point- long story).  He was maybe a year old.  Isn't Timehop just the best?

Saturday- my proudest moment to date. I ran SIX miles on Saturday.  My big race is March 28 (6.25 miles) up an down Monument Ave.  I hope my running partner will stick with me (Thanks, Theresa!).  You can read more about my appropriate runners' high here.  

Sunday- I spent the morning in Mechanicsville preaching for a good friend of mine.  It was a lovely church with green carpet that reminded me of Fernwood.  I took a nap and knew my room needed to be picked up before this week truly began.  I turned on Saturday's episode of Prairie Home Companion, tucked Stella into bed, lit a few candles, and cleaned.  It's beautiful now.  Clean also brings peace.